research draft

Jazmyne Miller

How does writing help women who have been in abusive relationships?

Since the beginning of time, domestic violence has always been in our world. Years ago a lot of situations went ignored and nothing was done about it because most women did not report incidents thinking they will just get better or there were not a lot of resources to turn to for help. Thankfully being a much more advance society we are trying to change what it going on in our world for the better. I have researched and done a study to see how and if writing does help the women who have been in abusive relationships. My knowledge that I have gained has been outstanding. I never thought twice before about finding out what are these women’s though patters after going through such traumatic experiences.

             I visited a women shelter specifically for women and their families who have been in abusive situations, in our surrounding area, their name I will not disclose, but I had a chance to sit in on one of their group sessions. The group meets once a week. One of the things they are asked to do is write about what was discussed in the previous meeting and how it relates to their lives. I came in on the discussion of forgiveness. The women were asked to write what does forgiveness mean to them and do they think they could ever one day forgive the person who has done them wrong. Listening to this discussion was something I would never forget. It amazed me to hear theses women’s personal thoughts and feelings.

One woman in particular voiced how she feels now, she thinks she could never forgive her husband for treating herself and her son the way he did.  She said her definition of forgiveness was to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. Forgiveness was not what she felt she could do at this time because she wanted revenge. She expressed how she wanted her husband to feel all of the pain and hurt she felt times ten. Because of her religion she knew the right thing for her to do is forgive but the way she felt now she couldn’t see how she could ever forgive her husband.

The lady who ran the group had been a woman who she too was in an abusive relationship. She told me how she one attended this program, and now volunteers her time to help the woman who feel how she once did. I asked her some general questions about her personal situation she once went though. What stood out to me is that even though she is helping other women better themselves she told me that every day it is still a struggle for her to not let her ill feeling come back. The lady told me how keeping a journal is what helped her most because she was able to express all of her feelings without anyone else’s input. She encourages the other women to do the same. Because the ladies keep a journal she expressed to me how she is seeing some improvement in their attitudes and sharing their feelings.

I feel like keeping a journal in any situation is helpful because you can write your most personal feelings and thought without any judgment or other opinions. The women are encouraged to read their journals to the group but not forced to. The woman who ran the meeting said most of the women in due time do share what they have written. They will not share everything but some things they will. The mood in the room was very relaxed. I think this is because these women are so relieved to be out of their bad situation and amongst other women who they share some of the same feelings and thoughts with.

Throughout this research project I used textual analysis as one of my methods. I interpreted some of the women’s thoughts and feelings to drawl my own conclusion of how they may have felt. I also used a ethnographic methods because I observed everything that they were doing.  I concluded that writing does in fact help these women in their healing process. Even after the meetings and programs writing is still an effective tool.